Midnight Meetup

My watch ticks. Almost mockingly so. Time is ticking down; that’s what it’s trying to tell me, I know. People are bustling, rain is drizzling. Crosswalks are nearby. I should be able to hear their footsteps, the rain hitting the concrete, the buttons demanding people to wait, yet I hear none of it. All I hear is my flustered heart, and the ticking of my watch. Are these raindrops crawling down my back? Or is it my cold sweat? Perhaps a mix of both?

In my hands is a loaded gun. Upon it is the name of the one I am to kill. It is someone I know very well, one who I’ve known my entire life. I know his mannerisms, his interests, every single little thing about him, about his family, his friends—I am aware. However, at the same time, I despise him. I hate him because we are different. I love him because we are similar. 

I do not kill for fun, I do not kill for any sense of justice or revenge, I kill because it is necessary, it is how things are to be. I am no cold-blooded killer. I commit no crimes. I have never once brought pain to anyone. This is an act of mercy, of refinement towards something greater. A large part of the great cycle of life. I am not mad. 

Like a tiger, I kept my presence hidden from my prey. Like a chameleon, I blended into my environment: just another human in a Seattle tux. In this concrete jungle I stalked my prey and observed from afar. No, I couldn’t kill him yet. I looked at my watch and became entranced as the hands moved in a circle, never stopping, never faltering, such is the flow of time. Tik-Tok went the hands of the clock, as if to hound me. Tik-Tok went the hands of the clock, spurring me on. Patience! Patience! 

I looked back up and noticed that I had lost my target in the crowds. Blast! But no matter, I knew where he was heading. It was ten in the morning. He’d be drinking his third cup of coffee. I found his favorite coffee shop, not a chain cafe, but a small, family owned one on the corner. There were many free seats as a result of the downpour, so I decided to take a seat on the wet steel outside. I had my back turned so he wouldn’t recognize me. I looked at my watch so that I may use it to see when he leaves. I had one eye trained on the door, and another on the time. Tik-Tok, I counted down the clock. It was as if I could feel the sun rotating in the sky as the day continued forward. 

A woman had recognized me in passing and my body stood still. She gave a million-watt smile and asked how I was doing. I replied eloquently and sarcastically, to which she giggled. Yes, this is the woman I fell in love with. This is the woman whom the man I must kill loves. He does not deserve her, there is no way she’d accept his love anyway! My hands grew clammy, and my throat felt as though a golf ball was lodged inside of it. In her presence, everything went away, the rain, the sound of the hands, everything. All I could see, feel, hear, smell, was her. How could something be this close to me, but be so far out of reach? She gave her farewells and called me by the name on my gun. Had she seen it? No, it’s hidden away under my jacket so why? How could she confuse me for him?!  All of my senses returned, and because of her error, I was reminded of my mission. 

I noticed he had left the shop, and that was when I finally got a good look at him. His imperfections showed, of all kinds. The way he carried himself, the dreariness in his eyes, his sloth. It was revolting! I am nothing like this man, so why? Why was I mistaken for him?! I saw his eyes scan the horizon in a worried fashion and I, as calmly as possible, got up and began to walk in the direction I knew he’d walk in. He would never suspect someone stalking him to be in front of him, and in this way I can keep an eye on him through my watch. I swear I could feel his gaze scan my body. Had my love betrayed me? Surely she told him and now he’d surely flee! I looked at my watch again and saw he was now behind me. No, he’s not seen me yet. I can see him shiver and shake, nervous, anxious, good, good. That’s how it should be! 

I followed him to his classes. I knew what he was studying, I knew the questions and the answers. He would surely stumble on a problem. What topic was it again? How could I forget! 

In some cultures, it is said that twilight is the time of beginning and end. A transition of parallels: of past and future, of dark and light, where day meets night. The living which bask in the sun’s light retreat to their homes in fear of the darkness while those which dwell in darkness begin to crawl out of their catacombs. The sun blurs everything in a reddish hue, and the shadows grow longer and longer until a bridge of darkness is connected between this world and the afterlife, and where beginning meets end. I am running out of time, I cannot fail. 

I followed my target to my apartment. 

I was complacent. I waited, speechless, for sorrow to cut so deep it warranted a laugh. I was naive. I waited, speechless, for joy so great it would bring me to tears. Tik-Tok went my watch, as if to scold me. Tik-Tok went my watch, for not wanting to weather the storm. Tik-Tok went my watch, for wanting to return to a simpler time, for wanting to escape from everything. I knew this could not continue, I worried, and despaired, but I knew I had to move on. 

I shuddered and pressed my back to my front door. What if she had told him? Surely he knew I was coming? He must know, he has to know! I couldn’t stand it! Eagerness? Anxiety? How can I describe this feeling!? I pulled out my gun and pointed it at my door. My breathing was hoarse, and I knew now that I was covered in sweat, the rain stopped hours ago.

With a final breath I kicked my door down and blindly fired nine shots into my apartment, gunshots and the ticking of my watch rang in my ear with each pull of the trigger on beat to the maddening metronome. Pain pierced my shoulder and I ducked behind cover.

“I waited for you,” I heard the man say from inside the dark.

I switched magazines.

“I waited, speechless, alone, in my dimly lit room so I may think,” he said. “I waited, speechless, alone, so I may accept what would happen next. The clock continued to bombard my eardrums with its endless lullaby while I waited for someone to come knocking on my door.”

“There is nothing to fear now,” I whispered. “I promise.”

I dove across the doorway, the barrel jerked, and the flashes of my muzzle revealed three gentle bullets piercing the man I was yesterday like it was on an old timey film projector.

I walked over to where he lay in a puddle of his blood, the red pool glistening silver midnight moonlight from the open doorway. He looked so much like me.

“Goodnight,” I whispered. As I closed his eyes, I shouldered his despair, his dreams; they were lighter for me, no doubt I could carry them better than he could.

The man he would be tomorrow stood up and walked away, leaving behind a bloody trail. “Let’s meet again tomorrow night.”